The Girl Next Door

My friend Ashley at the Shine Project put out a challenge ... blog about how you personally define beauty.

I think that messages surrounding beauty and worth start being sent at an early age ...

You would look so pretty without your glasses.

Braces make you ugly.

She is so much smarter than you.

You have to be a cheerleader to be cool.

All your friends are a size 2.

I'm too short.

I'm the only one who didn't make the team.

Pretty girls are always more popular.

You don't have any talents.

I have terrible skin.

My ears stick out.

I don't have any friends.

Unfortunately, these messages tend to add or take away from our general self-esteem.

They also tend to foster a habit of comparing ourselves to others in order to define and quantify our beauty.

Why is this bad?

Well, everyone is not going to land the cover of People's Most Beautiful issue

or marry a guy that looks like Ryan Reynolds.

Drinking all the Smart Water in the world won't give you Jennifer Aniston's body.

Everyone is not going to go to Harvard

or land a job that allows you to drive an Escalade.

Everyone is not going to be a cheerleader

or a Homecoming Queen.

These same messages continue into our adult life, with some additional twists:

Her kids are so well behaved

She has five kids .. and still has the body of a 12 year old.

You must be the only person in the room who works outside the home.

She is so much more talented than you.

You don't really fit in here .. all of these women are so much better people than you.

Her house is always clean and perfect.

Don't sing with her .. her voice is way better than yours.

She has so many more followers on her blog than you.

People are talking about your son got in a fight at scouts last week.

Don't volunteer to take a meal to that family .. you're just an average cook.

I bet SHE never cusses.

My family never gets invited to do anything.

Not going to lie ... I have fallen into these traps at different points in my life. 

I think it one of the biggest tools that can be used against us. 

Listening to that voice forces us to focus on all the things wrong with us and our lives.

It severely limits our interaction with others. 

We retreat inside our own heads and become miserable.  

We place value only on the things that can be seen.

We fixate on the opinions of others.

We give up our power to control our thoughts and actions.

The truth is that the world is full of average people doing amazing things.

Average cooks who take meals to people in need.

Average piano players who teach children to love music.

Average high school girls who become a friend to someone who is struggling.

It is my life's goal to help young people recognize the beauty in being average.

Find your voice and identify your personal super powers.

Don't compare yourself to others because you don't have to be better than everyone else ...

You just need to be the most amazing version of YOU!

There is nothing more beautiful than a girl or woman who is ...

Confident - in her ability to make the world a better place

Happy - quick to smile and laugh

Anxiously engaged - brings positive energy everywhere she goes

Empowered - takes action every day to make a difference in the lives of others

She is comfortable in her own skin.

She knows her superpowers .. and uses them for good not evil.

She is just an average girl next door

And she is beautiful!!